City girl

This girl grew up in the city so almost no camping (at least not real camping), no hiking, no fires, no wild animals...you get the point. I grew up without it and I've been able to live without it for 25 years but then I went and married the most awesome man in the planet and guess what...he loves all those things I can live without. So tomorrow we're going camping! Wish me luck! I'll be back with a report on Tuesday.

Mixed feelings

This has been a weird week. On Saturday my brother-in-law (J) talked to Bruce and gave us the saddest news. They lost the baby. My heart dropped to my feet. I've been there twice and yet I didn't know what to say. I wanted to get in the car close my eyes and instantly be by her side. We couldn't get there that fast but thankfully we were able to take time off to be with her.

The situation was complicated. J is in the army and he is stuck in SC doing some schooling, he couldn't leave or he was going to loose his spot in that class. Her sister was with her at the moment but couldn't stay too much longer. The kids were with the neighbor but he could only watch them for the weekend. A was in the hospital because she didn't have a miscarriage what happened was that the baby's heart stopped growing and they had to induce labor. We felt like we couldn't get there fast enough.

We got there on Sunday afternoon right when A was getting home from the hospital. We hugged and cried together. I was so happy to be able to be there for her and understand what she is going through. We didn't talk about it for long, we mostly cried and hugged.

While the circumstances were not the desired ones we truly enjoyed the time with the family. Z is precious and it is amazing how he's growing. Remember last time I said he refused to say "bear", well now he does! He says Uggie Bruce and Poulina beautifully! He runs around and jumps and talks and dances, we even played in the rain, he is a true delight! I love that kid. Our other nephew T got honor roll in his school, so proud of him!



Eating breakfast wih Uggie Bruce



Running in the rain with Aunt Polina

Thank you God for allowing us to be there for our family and for bringing us closer together, all glory be to you!

Am I a mom?

As Mother's day approached this question began to grow in my heart. I know that a mother is not only the one that gives birth but the one that cares, nurtures, and loves. And I...well I didn't even give birth.

When I finally asked Bruce he said "No, you're not" (I don't think guys understand very well the whole miscarriage thing, it probably has to do with the fact that the only evidence of pregnancy he saw was the two pink lines and to be honest after seeing that even I had a hard time believing it!). So anyway, I just tried to stop thinking about it.

Mother's day came and went, and although I didn't think it would grief did hit me. I cried a bit and missed my babies, it made me think that by now I would have a big belly and we would be preparing for our little pumpkin to arrive into our arms. Bruce just hugged me and helped me not to get stuck in all those thoughts. But the question still remained deep in my heart.

Yesterday when I checked the mail I got this beautiful "Happy Mother's Day!" card from my mother-in-law. She is a precious woman and I am blessed to be married to her son. God used her immensely to comfort my heart and answer my question. Her card here:

So I AM a mom, because if I weren't then who would be the mom of those precious babies. They are just not with us, they are in Heaven and I look forward to meeting them one day. Thank you Jesus because we have that promise! Mommy loves you babies!

Good news!

I had a doctor's app today and everything is ok! We can start trying to get pregnant again this summer. Don't know if we will but the good news is we CAN!


We shall see!

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Change -sigh-

"Change is a tragedy" -ME

When I told my husband that this morning he said, you should blog about that!

Let me explain, lately if anything that was planed and already set in my head changes I freak out. I have no idea why but I feel for my poor amazing Bruce. Well I hope to go back to my normal self soon. Meanwhile I hope his schedule stays the same, he doesn't even think about doing anything without letting me know days in advance and I don't have to do anything I wasn't planing on doing. You know I'm just kidding, right? I think. Anyway...

Easter report

So Easter weekend didn't go as bad as I had envisioned it, actually, it went very good. Having family over was refreshing. Ashley and I got to hang out and have some girl time while the guys did some manly stuff. Our little nephew is a delight he is at that age where he's starting to talk a lot and repeats everything he hears. It was a blessed time!

On Friday Ash and I went out for a pedi while the guys stayed at home trying to put together a pool we recently got (which ended up in desaster, too windy). On Saturday we got up early and went to the flea market. Bruce and I started a Disney movie collection and we love to go out there to hunt down the ones we're missing (they love Disney to so the trip was great!). Later we met Ashley's parent's for lunch and at night it was movie time.

On Sunday we were invited to Bruce's boss' house for Easter lunch, I had to bring dessert. Bruce had in mind dirt dessert and since it went perfect with the spring theme we went for it. James, Bruce and I went shopping for all we needed, I didn't know hanging out with both of them would be such a blast! Each one is goofy enough alone but together oh my, the goofiness multiplies! I laughed as I hadn't in a long time. Easter lunch was great Bruce's boss has a large family and it was great to share with them and feel part of a family. Later that day we had an egg hunt for Tyler and Zachy. It's amazing how smart Z is, he knew the drill perfectly!

Funny fact about lil Z (I know I will want to remember this): For some strange reason that nobody understands he refuses to say the word "bear" so we have Yogi Bear Pooh, Baloo the Bear Pooh, black bear pooh, Bear Pooh Hug, lol it is hilarious! I love that kid so much. I wish we live closer so we could see him more often. Oh well!

Lil Z at the egg hunt

Here's to a great weekend with family!