tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62807478961202409152024-03-13T07:19:37.568-07:00Life on the COY laneThis is the story of our battles, our grief, and our hope which is completely and absolutely in the Lord. After two miscarriages the two words that resound in my head are the ones God gave me to be able to get through the pain: trust and be thankful, and that is what I'm trying to do!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-40856139611008771222015-05-02T12:01:00.000-07:002015-05-02T12:01:15.968-07:00Here and Now update {Getting in shape}<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It's been almost three months since I started this journey to a fitter me and I am glad to report that I have succeeded! I've lost a total of 17 lbs. and 20 in.!!! I feel great and there are a ton of other non-scale victories I can report. My wedding band fits (it hadn't since 2012), I am wearing clothes I wore before I ever got pregnant, I've worn L shirts for a looong time now they all look big on me, I feel lighter and better, and more importantly working out has become a part of my life. I even like it now, whaaat? Yes, me, I love to work out!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I would like to thank Bruce and Melanie for pushing me to start this journey and for their encouragement throughout. I love you guys!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Having said this I want to encourage you to go for it. You don't have to buy expensive workout videos or be on a perpetual diet just make little changes that will yield the results you want. Go to a thrift store and look for work out videos (I've seen some for 2.99 each), get on youtube and get some workouts to incorporate to your day, get outside and run/walk for 30 mins., whatever works for you do it! Also there is this awesome app called "Lose it" that helps you set goals and track your food intake and activity so you can achieve loss weight easily. My point is, when you think of getting in shape it seems that there is so much to it long work outs, gym memberships, counting calories, diets, giving up fats, dairy, carbs, sugar, etc., switching to organic foods, and so on. If you start thinking about it it gets overwhelming, you get tired and you quit before you even start but it doesn't have to be like that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">30 min. workouts and staying within a caloric budget is all that there is to it. Of course that can look different for every one so do what works for you. I am a very chill person, I knew that if I wanted to lose weight and keep it off I needed to do something that I could keep as long term habits. I needed to change them, not be on a diet because it is not in me to be on a diet forever. I need to live too! It's good to eat healthy, it doesn't always happen but with this new habits I have set in place I don't have to worry about the times it doesn't work out. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Anyway, I'm not sure how much sense I'm making. All I want is to communicate that if I'm doing it anyone can, you can too! It won't be easy at first but believe me when you start seeing results you will want to keep going and it will be totally worth it!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">WARNING, COMMERCIAL COMING:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you need a jump start I strongly recommend the 21 Day Fix. 21 days of a new way of eating and an easy to follow work out program and you will be on your way to a healthier you! </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Melanie is an awesome Beach Body coach and if you are interested I can get you in touch with her so you can start your journey! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">...and since a picture says more than all my words here it is:</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-48061037195909888132015-02-05T20:09:00.000-08:002015-05-02T11:23:34.333-07:002015's Here and Now {Phase I}<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">One of the ways in which I have taken my phrase of the year <i>"here and now" is </i>this other phrase "life is too short". I am not too old but loosing Evan has opened my eyes to a world of pain, loss, and uncertainty. I had a VERY nice childhood. I never really went through anything really hard. There wasn't much that I wanted that I didn't get. Life was good and although there was bad in the world none of those bad things could/would ever happen to me. Well, that is long gone. Now I know that bad things happen and they most certainly can happen to me. I'm not immune to life. This knowledge is both good and bad. To be honest I struggle with not spiraling into a constant state of worry but I don't ever want (can) be as naive as I used to. Life is short.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As I said this phrase can go in many directions and I will be sharing them as I discover them. I hope you will join me in this adventure and maybe we'll learn a thing or two in the process. I am going to be open like I never have been (stepping out of my comfort zone is something I suck at and am working on).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I have never worked hard for anything in my life. Maybe <i>NEVER</i> and <i>ANYTHING </i>are strong words but I'm going for the dramatic effect here. If it gets hard, I quit. If it's not instant, I quit. If I have to step too much out of my comfort zone, I quit. I have good excuses for quitting or so I keep telling myself. Well, no more. I am... afraid to type this... I am determined to accomplish at least 1 hard thing this year. Life is too short and I don't want to look back at the end of my life and think of all the excuses I made. Please don't think I am sharing this so I will get nice comments out of you. I am sharing because as much as I hate it I think accountability will be a good thing for me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, first up is getting in shape. I know, I know couldn't be any more cliche but I don't like the extra pounds I carry around. For the last three years I've had legitimate excuses to not do anything about it. I don't have those excuses anymore. I have decided to make time for something that is important, not only for me but for my husband and for my boys. February 9 I am starting a program with shakes and exercise. Doable 30 mins. a day work outs, healthy meals, a shake for breakfast (thank goodness because I struggle with breakfast), an accountability group, improving my lifestyle and the anticipation of seeing great results in just 21 days. I am excited and ready to tackle my first challenge of this year! I know I can do it!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Stay tuned maybe I'll be brave enough to post "before" pictures, insert big maybe here.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-70858800886063789142015-01-31T20:36:00.002-08:002015-05-02T11:25:02.206-07:00I've been pondering...<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The other day I saw something on a friend's Facebook page that made me think a lot. She has gone through quite a bit of loss and she posted that she was having one of those days in which you just miss what you've lost. I can totally relate! She also said that when we mourn we tend to paint a picture in our heads about what would have been. Of course, that picture is always better than our reality or at the very least it is a good picture. However there is no way to know that if such and such hadn't/had happened then our life would be better (or as good as we picture it in our dreams).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This is how this reflection applies to me: When I think of Evan I think what he would be like now. I wonder how he would be with his brothers. I imagine our big family of 5 enjoying life all together. I get tired just thinking how crazy it would be to have two toddlers and a baby. I think that I would be able to say that I have 3 under 3. You get the picture. HOWEVER... and this is where my friend's reflection made me think differently... what if life were completely different to what I imagine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What if Evan had been healthy or healed on this Earth? Maybe our view on having babies wouldn't have changed. Maybe we would have waited longer to have another baby. Maybe Jason wouldn't be here, maybe even Ethan wouldn't be here! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What if Evan would have lived with the health challenges that we knew he had? We would have spent hours upon hours in the hospital with him. He would have had surgery(ies). We would have been too worried, concerned and busy to even think about getting pregnant again. Maybe that experience would have made us too afraid to even have more kids. We would be missing out on our Ethan and Jason!!! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My heart breaks when I think of that. Granted we wouldn't know what we would be missing but now that we know the thought of it is almost unbearable! Nothing says that if Evan had lived our life would be exactly as it is + him. Maybe our story would be completely different. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Now, this doesn't make me miss my baby any less but it does make me want to enjoy my boys a lot more. It makes me want to cherish the good times and work through the hard ones. It makes me want to live life <i><a href="http://apromisetoholdonto.blogspot.com/2015/01/my-phrase-2015.html" target="_blank">here and now</a>. </i>It makes me want to create memories every chance I get.</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> I</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">t makes me proud, happy, and thankful that I have my Evan in Heaven and my Ethan and Jason in my arms.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I won't say that I wouldn't change a thing because, if I had a choice, I would choose to have all 3 right here with me. That is just the honest truth, but knowing what I know now I can accept and intentionally enjoy the life I do have!</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-63534530623024202262014-12-31T18:23:00.001-08:002015-01-01T15:57:07.922-08:002014<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What a year! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We started it with a bang with a visit from our cousins in January, they were the first ones in our extended family to meet Ethan. It was such a sweet time just hanging out and catching up! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Mid January we took our first (and last) trip to Mexico as a family of three. My friends and family got to meet Ethan. We went to the beach, threw his 7 month monster party and dedicated him to the Lord. We spent some much needed time with dear friends and family! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We also found out that our family would grow by two feet making it the 3rd year in a row in which we would have a baby. I know what you're thinking... Ironically, this year we also got rid of both our TVs! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In February we closed in and moved into our very first home. We've spent most of our time this year remodeling it and making it pretty!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In June we celebrated Ethan's 1st birthday. It was awesome to see how many people came together with us to celebrate the life of our sweet boy. We are happy to have so much love in our lives. Also, my mom was able to be here for the party!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">September brought the sweetest addition to our family. A little surprise that has filled our home with even more joy, cries, dirty diapers, laundry and so much love! Thankfully my parents were able to stay with us helping with the boys. It's a blessing to have retired parents! We love you Jason Allan! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In November we received Bruce's parents and sister in our house to celebrate Thanksgiving together. We hadn't seen them in a long time so it was great to spend time with them and see how much they enjoyed the boys!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Christmas was family time. Just the four of us, no schedules, no rush. Just us, making memories, loving on each other, missing our Evan and enjoying our Ethan and Jason. Opening presents, wearing matching pajamas, sitting by the fire, enjoying our home and our little family! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Although, I think I'm safe to say that this year brought more ups than downs. It has also been the year in which I have missed Evan the most. I've noticed his absence more but that has made me realize how much I need to enjoy Bruce and the boys here and now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I am looking forward to 2015 and what it will bring for our little family. I am excited to continue on this journey with my husband and kids. I hope next year brings lots of joy to my dear friends who are reading this. Let us keep on doing life together! I love you!</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-2308543067516189112014-12-18T15:54:00.002-08:002014-12-18T15:55:26.550-08:00I miss him!<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So, it's been a while! It's been a busy couple of... months. Two boys, holidays, kitchen remodel, parents and in-laws visiting. It's made for a crazy but very enjoyable time! Also, I was going through sort of a writers' block spell. I didn't have anything to write about till now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I've been feeling kind of strange lately. There are lots of feelings going on in my heart and my head. I've been missing Evan a LOT which makes me feel a little guilty because, well, I have two AMAZING, healthy, growing kids. So here is the thing having Evan makes me appreciate Ethan and Jason more but having them makes me miss him even more. I miss what I never had. I miss seeing him grow. I miss him playing with his brothers. I miss his little steps around the house. How is it possible to miss something/things you never had? The more I see my boys grow and develop, do new things and reach new milestones the more I miss seeing Evan doing the same things, reaching the same milestones.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The holiday season doesn't make it any easier. It's like there's a a piece of our family missing. It's like we are not complete. I try to balance how much I miss my boy in Heaven and how much I want and do enjoy my boys!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Anyway, I don't have much more to write I just... miss my Evan! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I love you sweet boy and I miss you a lot. You will always have your special place in my heart and in our family!</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-67613277013323542932014-09-18T20:57:00.001-07:002014-09-26T19:20:21.270-07:00He's here: Jason's birth story<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Our Jason Allan is here! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's been a week since Jason was born, where did time go? I'm not sure why but I feel I've recovered a lot faster this time around. Maybe because I was under a lot less stress, maybe my body already knew what to do. I had a repeat c section and everything went very smoothly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let's start from the beginning. At 36 weeks we had an ultrasound to check were he was size wise and his position so we could know what to expect (haha). The ultrasound showed a healthy 7 lbs baby, head down "ready" for delivery (we did want him to wait till 39 weeks to be born). From then on we planned on having a VBAC, which my OB was on board with. We had our awesome birthing coach, Sharon, and our <a href="http://www.aandrewsphotography.com/#!contact-/cvz6" target="_blank">photographer</a> lined up. We started our weekly check ups, he stayed head down up until 38 weeks 5 days. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We were 39 weeks on Tuesday 16th, on Wednesday 17th we had our routine appointment and that's when we found out things had changed. His heartbeat was way higher than it had been the previous week so for good measure the Dr. did an ultrasound just to find out that he had turned! I had felt my tummy different the night before but I really didn't think he could have turned that far along. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know some may say my reaction was a little over dramatic (yes, I cried). I knew in my heart that it wasn't the worst news ever because guess what I have gotten the WORST news ever before and it doesn't compare. However, it was the fact that things were, once more, not going our way. We've wanted nothing but natural deliveries from the beginning and it just isn't happening. The doctor gave us some options to try to turn him back around, one of them being a procedure called Version (the doctor manipulates baby from the outside, turning baby manually with "little" risk form mom and baby). We considered it and decided that's what we would do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For some reason we couldn't get to a place of peace with this decision. The procedure, which was going to take place at the OR, was scheduled for the next day September 18th. I could barely sleep and there in the middle of the night I decided Jason's safety was more important to me than being <strike>cut open</strike> not having things go my way. In the morning I told Bruce what I thought and he agreed. We decided to skip the version and have a good old fashion c section. We still had Sharon and our photographer there (I'm so glad we did). We had amazing support and gorgeous pictures taken. I'll do a picture post as soon as I get them back!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This time the anesthesia worked right away. I walked into the OR at around 9 am and at 9:25 we had a healthy crying baby in our arms. Daddy was by my side the whole time, as soon as baby came out he ran by his side. He cut the cord, watched them clean him up and swaddle him and as soon as he was able to he brought it to me. He let me kiss him and meet him for a few minuted before they were taken to the recovery room where I would join them about half an hour later.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the recovery room I got to see Jason. Once the numbness in my hands was gone I was able to hold and nurse him. Over all it wasn't a bad experience, of course I would have preferred to have a natural delivery but God knows why that didn't happen again. I am just thankful that our boy is alive and healthy. I am recovering well. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thanks for reading and for sharing in our joy for the new addition to our family! Now on to discovering a whole new world as a mother of a rambunctious toddler and a newborn. I will be documenting our adventures here so stay tuned!</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-77155555904237708782014-09-13T07:54:00.000-07:002014-09-13T08:00:32.059-07:00And his name shall be<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Naming a human is no easy task! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A few years ago on a road trip we took to Oklahoma, right around the time we had started talking and dreaming about having babies, we came up with 4 names for the babies we were dreaming of having. Two boy names and 2 girl names. Evan Matthew and Ethan Andrew being the boys' names. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I was pregnant with them, the minute we knew they were boys we also knew what their names would be. It was who they were even before they were conceived. It is also amazing to me that both the boys have lived to the meaning of their names:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Evan Matthew is our "young fighter" and Ethan Andrew is definitely "manly, strong and enduring"!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We were ready to name a girl after that but to our delight we got another boy! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Coming up with another boy name wasn't easy. We just couldn't seem to agree on one. We both like names with good meanings and I prefer names that are less likely to be shortened. After going through many names we finally agreed on one we both liked but for some reason it just didn't seem right and we didn't have a middle name. Even when we had decided on a name and told our families we didn't want to make it public because "what if we change our mind?". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway it was only about two weeks ago that we made it official so here it is...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jason means "that who heals" and Allan means "Fair and handsome". So of course I know he is handsome (not that I am biased or anything) but maybe he'll be a doctor too!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Also, just now as I type this I was thinking (with no intention to stretch the meaning) that this pregnancy has been by far the easiest and least stressful of all. By no means am I completely "healed" from my previous experiences but I do feel that having Jason's pregnancy go so well has given me back a little piece of something that I had lost along the way. Perhaps the hope that a pregnancy can actually go as intended, with no complications and more peace than worry. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe, in that way, Jason is already living up to his name. Doesn't sound too crazy or does it?</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-86842269972023809252014-08-28T15:45:00.002-07:002014-09-13T07:55:04.682-07:00Different kinds of love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been thinking a lot about this lately. It may be weird but I thought I would share anyway since it has been VERY real to me especially the past few months. You may be able to relate.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There are different kinds of love, well that's obvious you may think. Of course I don't love my husband the same way I love my kids or my parents. Yeah that's very clear and easy to recognize. But what about the love for our kids. I've discovered that I love each of my boys in a different way. Granted, all 3 of them are in different places right now and I am inclined to think that's were the difference lies. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Evan died and it was horrible, extremely painful and devastating. I loved seeing him in my belly on the ultrasounds. I enjoyed feeling him and dreaming if how he would be, what he would look like. I miss him terribly and what I miss the most is that I never got to really know him. He never took a breathe outside my womb, we never heard his voice. We never got to see his personality develop. We didn't get to really know him and I think that's what makes our love for him different.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ethan is here with us, he has been for almost 15 months now, when did that happen? Since he was born we've spent countless hours getting to know him. Celebrating his milestones, nursing him when he's sick, disciplining him, working to mold him, getting frustrated at him, and then forgiving him. He has filled our house and life with a joy and chaos that we never knew before. We've had to learn to put his needs before ours. We've been intentional about spending time with him, teaching him, enjoying him. Our life changed in a very different way than it did when Evan was born. A way we didn't expect and we hadn't experienced before.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We loved Ethan when he was in my tummy but all the time we've invested in him and the time we've had to get to know him has changed that love. We don't love him the same way we love Evan. In a way the love seems deeper and greater but it's only because we know him in a way we never knew our Evan.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Same thing with baby. We love him very much but we don't know him yet. We haven't spent nearly as much time caring for him as we've had his brothers. I'm sure our love for him will change the moment they place him in our arms and will change even more as we spend time with him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I guess this is why parents wonder, will I be able to love my second child as much as I love my first? It's not because you don't love them already it's because you don't know them and it's hard to imagine loving someone else as much.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It doesn't matter though if it's different kinds of love, I LOVE my boys and I wouldn't trade any of them for the world! </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-65163512108365300292014-08-25T16:44:00.000-07:002014-08-25T16:44:35.887-07:00On pain and Rainbow Babies <div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Something has been weighing in my mind since we got pregnant with Ethan and today I re-read this quote and thought it might be a good time to share: </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We call rainbow babies to those born after a loss. <br />They are beauty after the storm.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We did not know about the concept of Rainbow Babies before we lost our Evan. We didn't really know about Rainbow Babies until we had our Ethan.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Having a Rainbow Baby is an interesting thing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Losing a child changes you in many many ways. It changes the way you see the world, faith, and even yourself. Things that used to be important are not anymore and things that you never thought about now are the center of your thoughts. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When you get the opportunity to be a parent to another baby, one that stays with you on this side of Heaven, you cherish more, you hold tighter, you love deeper. But here is the thing, </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">having a Rainbow Baby doesn't "make up" for your loss. There is no replacing the precious life that is no longer with you. It doesn't make it all OK. It doesn't make you forget. It doesn't take the pain away. Experience has taught me that at times it even makes your heart hurt a little bit more because you find yourself thinking "If he were here, he would be...". It makes you miss what you'll never have. It makes you wonder how it would be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You really never forget and you shouldn't. Evan is as much a part of our family as any other of our children. We love to talk about him. We love it when people ask or talk about him. We want our kids on earth to know they have a brother in Heaven. We know he was real and we like it to be acknowledged as such. He is and forever will be a very important part of our family. The way we love him and the way we love our babes on Earth may be different but we love him nonetheless. That is a topic for another post.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So that's where my heart is. As the picture says the rainbow doesn't mean the storm never happened (even a double rainbow) it means we get the privilege of enjoying something beautiful even in the midst of the pain. For that I am thankful.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-8672722629174077342014-08-12T10:57:00.001-07:002014-08-25T16:45:11.616-07:00When people ask<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ever since I was pregnant with Ethan it's been a common occurrence and I'm sorry to say that I haven't figured it out yet. Most interactions begin with "How far along?", that's an easy one. Then it is inevitably followed by "Is this your first?", that's when it gets complicated.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let me be clear not complicated for me, I know Ethan is not my first. The answer is VERY clear in my heart and in my head. "No, this is my second. My first one is in Heaven, he's not in my arms or running around but he is still my first born." Well if you know the whole story Evan is really the third, so Ethan is the 4th and so on, see how it gets complicated? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The thing is though, most people are not ready for a truthful answer. They are not asking because they really want to know. They just want to make conversation, like they're talking about the weather. So, here is what I haven't figured out. Sometimes, just to spare them of an awkward moment, I'll just answer "Yes, he is", and immediately after that I feel guilty. I feel I'm betraying my Evan. Does he not count? Why should I care </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">more </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">about this stranger than I care about honoring the place my baby boy has in my heart and our family? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sometimes I say "No, we have one in Heaven and he is our second", depending on the person the reactions will vary. Mostly it gets awkward and they try to change the subject. Rarely they compassionately just say "I'm so sorry!". I can count with one hands the times when their response has been of genuine interest and compassion "What happened?... I'm so sorry...", those are my favorite because it gives me the chance to share my boy with the world. When I do this I sometimes feel bad for making them feel bad or sad or awkward but at the end of the day I think, well they asked, right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is what I've learned. When you ask a question you need to be ready for the answer no matter what it may be. If you don't think you are ready for the answer then don't ask! That's the cold truth. There is another side of things which I have also learned. If I hadn't gone through what I have gone through there is no way I would have the awareness I do about loss, so I can't expect everybody to have the same awareness if they haven't experienced what I have. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, I am just as ignorant about other people's experiences (pain, sickness, chronic sickness, different types of loss, etc) as others are about the loss I've lived through. All I can do is be kind and understanding when asked and when asking. When giving an answer and when receiving an answer I was not prepared to get. Bottom line:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is a simple truth yet a very important one to live by. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-82790354194495902782014-08-11T19:14:00.000-07:002014-08-11T19:14:01.054-07:00My first guest post!<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So earlier this month I was contacted by Cortney over at <a href="http://themommyhoodproject.com/" target="_blank">The Mommyhood Project</a> via Instagram. I looked her up and found out she has a very similar story as I do. We both share deep loss and we both want our story to be known so others can have hope. She is hosting a series called Life After Child Loss on her blog and she invited me to be a part of it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was super excited because I think the more people can hear our stories the better. One, because if they are going through what we've gone through they won't feel alone. Two, because when you've gone through such pain you don't want it to be in vain and if my story encourages 1 person then there is some purpose in it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will be sharing Cortney's story next week but for now please go over and read my blog post on her page <a href="http://themommyhoodproject.com/life-after-child-loss-paulinas-story/" target="_blank">here</a>. You can also hang around and leave some comment love for her.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-43625319141043977562014-08-04T17:23:00.001-07:002014-08-04T17:23:28.158-07:00Showing my blog some love<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I'm getting ready to make my blog public. I know it hasn't exactly been private but since I started it back in 2011 I haven't acquired any regular readers. My guess is because nobody I know in real life knows about it. It's been a struggle in my heart to let close people know about it or not. It's a lot easier to be vulnerable and open with strangers but it is time. I want my story to be shared and to touch people that may need to hear that loss sucks and it is hard but there is always hope! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway, in preparation for this step I've been trying to give my blog a face lift and add some features that I think necessary. I spent about two days trying to add social media icons and I just wasn't having any success until I found this you tube video </span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/H4hI5WmqpBw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Super simple, fast, and clear, right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I love to design my own stuff but I am not very savvy regarding saving images for the web and re sizing and all that other good stuff so I found <a href="http://pancake-ninja.blogspot.com/2013/02/bright-paint-social-icons.html" target="_blank">these</a> and fell in love with them! I am thankful for talented people that are willing to share their skills with the community. Thank you Pancake Ninja! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you are trying to add social media icons to your blog go check these two resources, it will save you lots of time and frustration!</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-39075690042335343062014-07-25T18:54:00.001-07:002014-07-25T18:55:07.865-07:00Ethan is 1 little monkey<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We had Ethan's 1st birthday party on June 29th. At first we thought about having it at the park but it was going to be way too hot plus all my decoration plans wouldn't have been possible there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We went into overdrive to get the house ready for the party and I am glad we did! Every little detail I wanted came to fruition and I couldn't be happier with the memories we created for our 1st birthday party ever. I had been dreaming about a 1st Birthday Party ever since I got pregnant with our first back in 2010. Wow!!! It was a long time coming, things don't always happen like you imagine but this party did! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">OK, so on with the program. Let me give you a tour of the party and tell you a a little bit about it.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ta7xd3lzZyU/U9KeUj_rhXI/AAAAAAAAcIU/XJrnwJOVg3g/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+067.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ta7xd3lzZyU/U9KeUj_rhXI/AAAAAAAAcIU/XJrnwJOVg3g/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+067.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Right as guests walked in they saw a "one a day" presentation playing on our TV,<br />I tried to take a picture a day for his first year, I had to cheat on some days but<br />for the most part they were chronologically accurate.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zJOAiX5X0-U/U9MAO4u-e2I/AAAAAAAAcIw/MUc0o3TlfCQ/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+064.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zJOAiX5X0-U/U9MAO4u-e2I/AAAAAAAAcIw/MUc0o3TlfCQ/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+064.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">On one corner of the living room we had the "present table" which<br />was our ottoman, it turned out great because we sat there to open his presents.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As you walked into the dining room to the right we had a cotton candy and<br />snow cone station.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ht5JCMR9r3M/U9MBUGBePDI/AAAAAAAAcI8/QL9Df8gNxTg/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+020.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ht5JCMR9r3M/U9MBUGBePDI/AAAAAAAAcI8/QL9Df8gNxTg/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+020.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Then we had the food station. We served banana chips (ruffles), <br />monkey tails (hot dogs), and alligator jaws (watermelon). </span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yvamVnza0sY/U9MCTzwr8mI/AAAAAAAAcJA/WYf4dr1R2SI/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yvamVnza0sY/U9MCTzwr8mI/AAAAAAAAcJA/WYf4dr1R2SI/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+006.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Walking into the den we set up Ethan's high chair.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lZ7bxBAzSY8/U9MDFqugJuI/AAAAAAAAcJM/zN7HVCg7Nuc/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lZ7bxBAzSY8/U9MDFqugJuI/AAAAAAAAcJM/zN7HVCg7Nuc/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+007.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">To the right of the high chair we had the "cake" table. Tons of monkeys<br />that spelled ONE and his special one with his candle.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XIRV7QbZkDQ/U9MDwiVmb7I/AAAAAAAAcJQ/g47u-xzXDNk/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XIRV7QbZkDQ/U9MDwiVmb7I/AAAAAAAAcJQ/g47u-xzXDNk/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+004.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Along the den we set up the table for everyone. Daddy had the last<br />minute idea to use banana clusters as centerpieces and I added<br />some pictures but I took the picture before I did that.<br />I loved how it turned out!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9IR6ZsGsbck/U9MDzYAs-PI/AAAAAAAAcJY/W4sG3OkM7SE/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9IR6ZsGsbck/U9MDzYAs-PI/AAAAAAAAcJY/W4sG3OkM7SE/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+005.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We decorated the mantel with his hospital onesie, some pictures, and his first<br />piece of art (which mostly we made cuz he didn't want anything to do with<br />the paint). He did stamp his footprint so there. Also we hung his "monthly"<br />footprints (I had to cheat a bit too, life happens way too fast!).</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hFl93ECf4Rw/U9ME-vk4XCI/AAAAAAAAcJo/N1atCngoh0w/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hFl93ECf4Rw/U9ME-vk4XCI/AAAAAAAAcJo/N1atCngoh0w/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+015.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In the den we have a "window" that opens to the kitchen, we closed the<br />shutters and I set up his tiny bits picture, a frame with lots of pictures for<br />everyone to flip through, and our Evan's bear attending baby brother's party.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-44qB_VGG3Mc/U9MFDijiG1I/AAAAAAAAcJw/L_ifNalKsns/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+022.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-44qB_VGG3Mc/U9MFDijiG1I/AAAAAAAAcJw/L_ifNalKsns/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+022.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Outside we had the piñata, that was all Bruce. He made a palm tree<br />and hung coconuts filled with candy, when the kids hit the trunk the coconuts<br />fell and some busted open. Everybody loved it, it was very original and it worked<br />like a charm!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-31TZ0Gu15oo/U9MG5VaYXqI/AAAAAAAAcJ8/wfaXvagHEo8/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+120.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-31TZ0Gu15oo/U9MG5VaYXqI/AAAAAAAAcJ8/wfaXvagHEo8/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+120.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We also had a cake for Ethan so he would smash it with his guests, we<br />didn't make a mess like the first time but he enjoyed it!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bcR-F2SYxx4/U9MHnxWyivI/AAAAAAAAcKA/t0qYoG0MiWY/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+024.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bcR-F2SYxx4/U9MHnxWyivI/AAAAAAAAcKA/t0qYoG0MiWY/s1600/EAC+1st+Birthday+Party+024.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Our family picture. I wish it had turned out better but in the<br />heat of the moment that's all we had time for. </span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Happy Birthday" time, not too loud so birthday boy wouldn't<br />get startled because he was having a hard time with all the people<br />invading his house. Once he got over it he enjoyed the party!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, that's it for today. We had a great time and we were very pleased with how everything turned out. We had lots of friends and friends that are family join us to celebrate this very awaited day!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Only Abuela was able to make it in town for the party, she enjoyed it a lot and we were happy to have her. We wish we could have had more of our family here but that's how distance works. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Happy Birthday sweet boy, I hope you'll like what you see when you look at this pictures!</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-8490181856913410402014-06-27T17:05:00.002-07:002014-07-25T18:54:35.580-07:00My baby is ONE today<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When did that happen? I know everybody says this, it must be because it's true. It doesn't really feel like a whole year has gone by but my itty bitty baby is turning into a big boy way too fast and right in front of my eyes!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had been thinking about a theme for his 1st birthday party since he was like 6 months and this is what I came up with:</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bEgFRtN0bkA/U9FEKh3mlrI/AAAAAAAAcBo/Rxrx0mWh5Gg/s1600/Picture1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bEgFRtN0bkA/U9FEKh3mlrI/AAAAAAAAcBo/Rxrx0mWh5Gg/s1600/Picture1.jpg" height="262" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"5 little monkeys" is the first song I learned in English way back<br />in kindergarten and to date it brings back fond memories of those years. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I chose monkeys as Ethan's theme and when my mom was in town before he was born we found this cute beanie baby monkey, so it all fit together. I came up with the play on words (and number) and with daddy's help the party started to come to life!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We have a lot of fun plans for the party. I will post pictures soon! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today we celebrated by waking up the birthday boy with balloons and presents.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After the presents we had his cake smashing session. I wasn't sure how that was going to go because he is not a fan of textures but once he got a little bit in his mouth it was over, the cake didn't stand a chance. I took approximately 589 pictures and I was able to narrow it to about 200, it's impossible to pick the best ones they are all super cute! </span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Pic0cAM1fsM/U9J7wnfFSHI/AAAAAAAAcCc/pjXu2MAEv04/s1600/Twelve+Months+076.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Pic0cAM1fsM/U9J7wnfFSHI/AAAAAAAAcCc/pjXu2MAEv04/s1600/Twelve+Months+076.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The hat was a nice thought but he wouldn't keep it on!</span></td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lhXjOUJMic4/U9J7wvNpeBI/AAAAAAAAcCg/YcDoWUw0K84/s1600/Twelve+Months+094.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lhXjOUJMic4/U9J7wvNpeBI/AAAAAAAAcCg/YcDoWUw0K84/s1600/Twelve+Months+094.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What is this???</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_yy6NwyWf_s/U9J7wpD4p6I/AAAAAAAAcCk/JxJd_pGpCQ8/s1600/Twelve+Months+115.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_yy6NwyWf_s/U9J7wpD4p6I/AAAAAAAAcCk/JxJd_pGpCQ8/s1600/Twelve+Months+115.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I think I like it!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BEXlhgk7YTA/U9J71GpUuPI/AAAAAAAAcC0/CJzGF9H1gHk/s1600/Twelve+Months+134.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BEXlhgk7YTA/U9J71GpUuPI/AAAAAAAAcC0/CJzGF9H1gHk/s1600/Twelve+Months+134.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yeah, I like it so much I'll dive in it!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tewdaQJ_Lws/U9J71-yTmvI/AAAAAAAAcC4/5td2kOcAGag/s1600/Twelve+Months+162.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tewdaQJ_Lws/U9J71-yTmvI/AAAAAAAAcC4/5td2kOcAGag/s1600/Twelve+Months+162.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now I'm having fun!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yJNzB_Qe_R0/U9J71378HPI/AAAAAAAAcDA/g7AXJZ10Pt0/s1600/Twelve+Months+172.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yJNzB_Qe_R0/U9J71378HPI/AAAAAAAAcDA/g7AXJZ10Pt0/s1600/Twelve+Months+172.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Staple monkey face, not sure were he learned to do it<br />but I sure don't want him to grow out of it!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then we went out for breakfast and off to Explora (a kid's museum in town). Ethan and Daddy had a blast learning and discovering together. My heart is full just from seeing those two enjoy things together and each other!</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RjsRad2OvXo/U9J9lo6ctFI/AAAAAAAAcDU/XlwnK9mcdRI/s1600/Twelve+Months+202.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RjsRad2OvXo/U9J9lo6ctFI/AAAAAAAAcDU/XlwnK9mcdRI/s1600/Twelve+Months+202.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Fascinated with the shooting water</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TPBgNHZxoaA/U9J9l1a9h9I/AAAAAAAAcDc/1Ll3eemb3YE/s1600/Twelve+Months+216.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TPBgNHZxoaA/U9J9l1a9h9I/AAAAAAAAcDc/1Ll3eemb3YE/s1600/Twelve+Months+216.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Water is his favorite thing to play with</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NDs9q9Vmrmo/U9J9lKeWiZI/AAAAAAAAcDQ/f42P3uWzJME/s1600/Twelve+Months+221.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NDs9q9Vmrmo/U9J9lKeWiZI/AAAAAAAAcDQ/f42P3uWzJME/s1600/Twelve+Months+221.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Bubbles!!!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ftXPlc6nzVo/U9J9ojktvOI/AAAAAAAAcDo/Fd5v0ePTA-o/s1600/Twelve+Months+233.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ftXPlc6nzVo/U9J9ojktvOI/AAAAAAAAcDo/Fd5v0ePTA-o/s1600/Twelve+Months+233.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This is how he shows love, I love you too my boy!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rgibljimQZM/U9J9pFh3kHI/AAAAAAAAcDs/mzky9r-IZRc/s1600/Twelve+Months+236.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rgibljimQZM/U9J9pFh3kHI/AAAAAAAAcDs/mzky9r-IZRc/s1600/Twelve+Months+236.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Abuela had a good time too.</span></td></tr>
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To end the day we took his official 12 month picture with Daddy's 49ers hat, almost a monthly tradition.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-J90_khhXoJg/U9J-Zv3kofI/AAAAAAAAcD8/89BsgBJ53i8/s1600/Twelve+Months+246.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-J90_khhXoJg/U9J-Zv3kofI/AAAAAAAAcD8/89BsgBJ53i8/s1600/Twelve+Months+246.JPG" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Won't keep it on long enough for a picture but this works!</span></td></tr>
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We had a really fun time celebrating his 1st year of life and we pray we get to celebrate many more!</div>
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My dear sweet boy,</div>
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It's been an honor and a privilege to see you grow during this past 12 months. For the most part it's been easy, not because I am a super mom but because you are a super baby. We lucked out with you, every transition and every milestone have been dictated by your readiness. There hasn't been any major drama or difficulty. Of course you've had hard days and I have too but nothing compared to the horrors some people warned us about. You've spoiled us!</div>
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I love to watch you play and see all the silly things you come up with. Sometimes I feel my heart is going to burst out of my chest with love. I don't understand how I can love a tiny person so so much. You have changed our life and I am thankful that you are growing strong and healthy.</div>
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Keep on growing my love, soon you'll be joined by your brother on Earth and we all will have a blast!</div>
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Love, </div>
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Mommy</div>
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*Party post coming soon!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-46230251606692464882014-05-25T19:45:00.004-07:002014-05-25T19:46:16.324-07:00Big boy's mama<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ethan will be 11 months on Tuesday, I know right? How is that possible if he was born just yesterday???!!! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Since I am pregnant and due in September we had to start the weaning process earlier than we had originally planned. My doctor talked to me about the risk of contractions while breastfeeding. Since I don't have a history of preterm labor and I haven't had contractions she said I could continue to breastfeed as long as that continued to be the case. We discussed that further along in the pregnancy contractions are more likely to happen. I wanted to be prepared and not have to wean him cold turkey if anything happened.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We started about a month ago taking all the breastfeeding sessions during the day. It was a breeze, it was a little bittersweet that he didn't even seem to notice. I guess he was ready for it. The first couple of days he would "attack" me when I was close but other than that he was fine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The plan was for Bruce to start doing the night feeding at 11 months and then the morning one at 12 months. However today went differently. Ethan woke up at 7:30 am, Bruce got him and brought him into our room. I thought he would for sure go for his milk right away but he was content playing. We decided to give him his sippy cup and see how he did. He drank about half and was fine after that. Again, he didn't seem to notice!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tonight, Bruce suggested we just kept on with the theme and he fed him his night milk. When I started writing this post I was sitting on the couch hiding. Bruce came out and Ethan made a little noise but right now he seems to be asleep so, so far so good. My baby is growing into a big boy. Now I wonder if I can grow into a big boy's mama and be OK with that little bit of his babyhood been gone. It has, after all, been something we've shared for 11 months! </span></div>
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<img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-eQ0P7JhEFHk/U4EApYN353I/AAAAAAAAZZs/dQvDKNwSY18/w363-h483-no/IMG_20140524_142642.jpg" /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Grow on my sweet boy, your mama will be OK!</span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-18358330337560286132014-05-24T20:47:00.001-07:002014-05-25T19:20:09.570-07:00Two years<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today is our Evan's second Heaven Birthday.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Two years ago today we held his little body in our arms in what was one of the most bittersweet days of my life. If you would like to read the full story you can go to the label with his name.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As you can imagine I miss him terribly and it hurts. My heart wishes I had been planning a birthday party instead of wondering how this day was going to go. Last year although I was already pregnant with Ethan being sad seemed like the most natural thing. After all it had only been a year and my arms were still empty.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This year felt different. In the days leading up to today I wondered how I was going to feel and more so how I was supposed to feel. It has been two years, I have my almost 11-month-old Ethan and am 5 months pregnant with our 3rd baby boy. So I should probably be focusing on my blessings, right? </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I do, most of the time I do, but it's not like any of my boys will ever take my Evan's place in our family or in our heart. I still miss him. It's still hard. My heart still hurts and tears still roll down my cheeks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today I felt lost. It felt like it shouldn't be just another normal day but at the same time we are not throwing a birthday party and he is not here for us to make him feel special. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to feel? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm not sure. I do know I don't want to forget. I don't want it to feel like I'm forgetting. I don't want the world to forget. It is a very strange feeling and at times very confusing. I feel the need to be sad so I remember him. I need to cry to show he's still in my heart and mind. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I love you baby and I miss you more than words can express! </span></div>
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<img src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-t4VbjqmCy8A/U4EDc8lUCOI/AAAAAAAAZZ8/dhxr2lVBgqs/s483-no/1400963937107.jpg" /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-59572116008676372132014-05-22T12:13:00.001-07:002014-05-22T12:13:12.151-07:00It is a...<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We've known for a couple of weeks now. We had our 20 week ultrasound on May 5th, we were 19 weeks 6 days and that's exactly what baby measured. I'm not sure what that says about this baby but none of my kids before had measure so exactly. Anyway, I think it would have been really difficult to hide it if we didn't want to find out. It was pretty obvious and we are super excited. We are having... </span></div>
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<img src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-jOuleBeF4VA/U2uKYndQ8dI/AAAAAAAAYmA/kuQGy25Hz6U/s483-no/1399556660516.jpg" /></div>
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... <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">another boy!!! Everybody was rooting for a girl. There are no girls on my husbands side of the family and only 1 girl on mine but not this time. We couldn't be happier. Bruce says we make boys, so far he's right. 3 boys and counting!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not only are we happy because this will save us a ton of money (we pretty much have everything for baby) but also because Ethan is getting a partner in crime. We pray they will grow close together and be the best of friends although he doesn't really know what is going on right now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am also secretly happy that I remain the only girl and that I get to be loved by yet another guy. I love my boys, big and small!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I gotta go now one of them just woke up from his nap. </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-64179939363403994272014-02-27T06:59:00.002-08:002014-02-27T07:18:01.286-08:00God's surprise<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Who doesn't like a good surprise!? I know there are people that don't but I've always loved surprises. I like when someone loves me enough to take the time and effort to put together a surprise. I've received many surprises in life, some more pleasant than others and some bigger than others. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The one I am going to tell you about is the biggest surprise I could ever receive and also the best! It was/is being orchestrated by God, who could ever love me more than my God? Anyway, without further ado...</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IDtytMRWB-E/Uw9QTHso2xI/AAAAAAAAVTc/aatS6tPPY3Q/s1600/Annonuncement.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IDtytMRWB-E/Uw9QTHso2xI/AAAAAAAAVTc/aatS6tPPY3Q/s1600/Annonuncement.png" height="400" width="272" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Can you see it?</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just in case you have the same facial expression as Ethan does let me clarify:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Our 5th baby is in the oven. If you've read pretty much any of my previous posts you know that pregnancy is not the happiest place on earth for me. As happy and excited as I am there is always the lingering question: will I get to hold and bring home this baby? Having had a positive outcome with my last pregnancy I am not as nervous this time around but there are a million "what ifs" crossing my mind at any given time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is a time of choosing to trust God every day no matter what comes and deciding to love this baby and enjoy this pregnancy (as much as I can with a 7-month-old wiggling around at home). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isn't it the best surprise ever? For the first time we were not seeking it, or trying or doing ovulation tests or even paying attention to the calendar and BOOM it happened! Deep in my heart I was kind of hoping it would happen like this for once so I am very very thankful and looking forward to holding this little one in September! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It might take a huge belly for it to completely sink in though, it's weird to be thinking about another baby when it feels like you just had a baby yesterday. We're in for some exciting times around here!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>What is the best surprise you've ever received?</b></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-30499534513293369292014-02-04T18:06:00.000-08:002014-02-04T18:06:35.001-08:00The day we thought would never come<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's here. It came and went and since we haven't moved in yet it still seems unreal! Today we closed on our first ever home! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are excited and nervous all at the same time. It is a nice, spacious home were we will be able to exercise our decorating muscles. I am thrilled with the possibilities, also we want to do everything right now, it's going to be hard to pace ourselves and wait for the right deals at the right time. What I am most happy about is all the extra room and that everything will have a home. </span></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are going from a two bedroom apartment to a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, 2 living room, laundry room and big yard house. I feel I will finally be able to get organized and use some of the stuff that has been laying around in the house. As I mentioned before my goal is to have only what we are using or will use (say baby clothes and Christmas decorations) in the house. It's not going to be easy but I am determined! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are also excited to start our decorating from scratch, we are selling most of the decorating items we own and trading them for decorations that will go with the style we are looking for (insert lots of Pinterest searching here!). Anyway, we are excited and can't wait to move in on Wednesday!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will be sharing how we turn our new house into our home, you are welcome to join me in this adventure!</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://www.newmexicohomes.com/photos/newmexico/000/015/835_00_medium.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Our New House!!!</span></td></tr>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-25991040787641790452014-02-04T14:30:00.000-08:002014-02-04T14:30:12.768-08:00We're back!<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We flew back into town last Monday. We got back ready to kick it in high gear. With closing on our first home on Thursday and moving scheduled for Friday we only had a couple of days to finish packing. After scrambling around to get all the last papers over to our lender we found out on Wednesday that because of a mistake they made we would not be able to close on Thursday as planned. Which ended up being a blessing in disguise because they ended up giving us an unexpected lenders credit and we won't have a mortgage payment till April which will help us get our finances back on track, finally!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The down side is that when we started packing before we left we planned to be back home for only a couple of days and we were going to be so busy finishing up that we wouldn't even have time to cook or notice all the stuff that was already in boxes. We went from planning to be "living off of boxes" for three days to 8 days! It hasn't been easy but it's coming to an end and we are thrilled for what's coming!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway, we had a wonderful time in Mexico. Lots of friends, family, and good food. Not only that but also a very needed week at the beach resting, swimming, and eating to our hearts content. Lots of "firsts" for our little one that we thoroughly enjoyed and the Abuelos where beyond themselves spoiling, holding, changing, and loving on Ethan which gave Bruce and I a very needed break as well as a few date nights with no extra babysitting charge! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Besides all the "firsts" we lived in Mexico we also lived a couple of very significant events for our family. We had Ethan's dedication with the Pastor/dear friend that officiated our wedding and celebrated Ethan's 7 months with our friends and family there. Since we won't be there when he turns one, we decided to throw him a 7 month monster party which was a big success. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I leave you with some pictures:</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Fmeb2_e_n3c/UvFpRtNR2sI/AAAAAAAAU4M/9ybcS3Fe_D4/s1600/Picture1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Fmeb2_e_n3c/UvFpRtNR2sI/AAAAAAAAU4M/9ybcS3Fe_D4/s1600/Picture1.png" height="238" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">First flight, First Vacation, First Time Swimming, First Time at the Beach!</span></td></tr>
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<br /><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you Abuelos for the best Christmas present ever!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">More on the party and the dedication soon, stay tuned!</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-42526340709702560462014-01-10T06:36:00.000-08:002014-01-10T06:36:47.955-08:00The craziest of times<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The Holidays are over. We have a brand new year ahead of us with lots of hopes and dreams. We are kicking off the year in crazy mode around here. As I mentioned in my previous post we are traveling to Mexico, closing on our very first home and moving in all in the next couple of weeks! </span></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In true Coy fashion we seem to be doing it all at the same time and praying God will take care of the things that are not in our control! I am so excited about the house! We are getting a good deal and there are so many projects I want to take on. Our mortgage payment will be a bit higher than what we pay for rent now so all the updates will have to be done on a budget but as a frugal shopper, yard sale lover, deal hunter, etc. I am taking it as a personal challenge to accomplish an expensive look for an inexpensive price tag!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I am sure I am going to learn a lot in this process and that makes me happy! I will be posting my inspiration, projects, before/afters, and more over here so please join me int this adventure and let's learn together!</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-59616338122379723912014-01-06T21:30:00.001-08:002014-01-06T21:31:16.181-08:00Last and First<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So life has been crazy days have come and gone and I just haven't seemed to make the time to write. I like to write a last post looking back at what our year was and I had planned to write a first looking forward to what we hope this year will be but since I didn't we will count this one as both the last of 2013 and the first of 2014.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">2013 started with a pregnant me about 3 months along. Pregnancy is not a happy place for me but although we were nervous we were also very excited. Most of the first half of the year the pregnancy was our main focus. I remember being nervous about finding out if it was a girl or a boy, and seriously doubting whether I would be ok if it was a girl. I was so thankful God gave me the desire of my heart and I got another boy! Then we were worried about him being breech and me having a c-section which ended up happening and I hated the anesthesia.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">May 24th was our Evan's first birthday, it was a hard day. The middle of the year brought one of my most cherished blessings. I can't say this was the year I became a mother but it was the year we finally got to take our baby home, our 4th baby. The one we get to parent and see grow. That has been bittersweet because I can't help look at him and think about my Evan and what he would be up to now. But I am beyond thankful for a healthy growing baby boy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As you can imagine the second half of the year has been exciting. Lots of learning, enjoying, and loving. This boy has stolen our hearts and we can't imagine our life without him anymore. We have had to discipline ourselves so he would sleep through the night. We've had to give up things to care for him and we've learn what it is to love someone more than you love yourself. It has been hard at times and it's just the beginning but we wouldn't have it any other way. We are in love!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">One last note about 2013 it was a little weird not being pregnant during the Holidays this year. I've been pregnant for the Holidays every year since 2010, that's 3 years in a row! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We celebrated our Ethan's first Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year. We enjoyed sweet family time. It was a quiet end of the year which was just what we needed seeing that 2014 will start with a whirlwind. We are buying our first house and going to Mexico for a week and a half all in January. We need to pack our house, get bids for a new roof, sign papers and go to underwriting before we leave then we will have some glorious time with friends and family and when we come back we will have exactly 4 days to close and move in to our new house. Saying we have lots and lots to do would be an understatement! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Also I've been working on a few goals I have for this year to improve my spirit, soul and body.That will be in another post, now I have to go wrap up the day! </span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qMGN6DbqCgY/UsuQ4cj9cII/AAAAAAAAUAA/bCebgA03c5k/s1600/Christmas+Eve+2013+185.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qMGN6DbqCgY/UsuQ4cj9cII/AAAAAAAAUAA/bCebgA03c5k/s1600/Christmas+Eve+2013+185.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-44410012486870119652013-12-27T18:25:00.002-08:002013-12-30T22:18:33.068-08:001/2 a year<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I know, I know</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> all I blog about lately is my son... maybe that has to do with the fact that he is my life right now! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway, today my baby is 6 months old, half a year of an amazing journey in which I have discovered a different kind of love. I never knew it was possible to love someone like I love this little guy, who by the way is anything but little! Everybody keeps telling me how big he is and everything was put into perspective for me when someone told me their one-year-old is 21 pounds, Ethan was 18 lbs. 10 oz. at his 4 month appointment so he is BIG!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am beyond in love with him he has such a beautiful character. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I love to do a "mini" photo session every month, daddy says I torture the boy but I'm taking advantage of him not being mobile or talking yet. I say "mini" because in my had I shot only a couple of pictures and when I download them I find out I took 360 pictures, how did that happen? And then it is sooo hard to get rid of them so I end up with about 50 pictures of the same pose because he looks cute!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here's his 6 month picture (one of many): </span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xfnFSlRtC_Y/UsJfu89bFgI/AAAAAAAATZA/awoi2Zaf_jw/s1600/6+months+094.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xfnFSlRtC_Y/UsJfu89bFgI/AAAAAAAATZA/awoi2Zaf_jw/s400/6+months+094.JPG" width="265" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He is exploring everything with his mouth!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is awesome to see him grow, explore and discover the world. He's rolling back to tummy and tummy to back. When he's laying down he tries to pull himself up. He can sit and stand with a little help. At the rate he's growing he will be running around and talking in about 3 seconds. It is amazing how fast they grow but I have a feeling my boy might be in more of a hurry than most! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We love every minute with you son, let's discover together!</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-57589119813352833652013-12-26T11:00:00.002-08:002013-12-26T11:01:21.093-08:00His First Christmas!<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">June 27th was the start of a year of firsts that we are enjoying immensely! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's been a wonderful couple of days. Daddy had to work on Tuesday but to our surprise he came home an hour early. Once he was home the festivities officially began. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Our Christmas Eve was full of...</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-j9umTZS2Pp8/Urxs4kZwhVI/AAAAAAAATRM/F7KfcL0Tvak/s1600/jammies.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-j9umTZS2Pp8/Urxs4kZwhVI/AAAAAAAATRM/F7KfcL0Tvak/s400/jammies.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Christmas Jammies</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OpnY0arT8KU/Urxp9usOrSI/AAAAAAAATQc/KzBA7-0Xe8I/s1600/crafts.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OpnY0arT8KU/Urxp9usOrSI/AAAAAAAATQc/KzBA7-0Xe8I/s400/crafts.png" width="242" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Christmas Crafts,</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yrUy31JOUxI/UrxqAzldx4I/AAAAAAAATQ8/cv_cHQRWG10/s1600/family+picture.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yrUy31JOUxI/UrxqAzldx4I/AAAAAAAATQ8/cv_cHQRWG10/s400/family+picture.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Family Picture Attempts,</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bwJSeVjcBUs/Urxp-GMnlHI/AAAAAAAATQg/4kNu6EAeoNU/s1600/daddys+gifts.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="164" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bwJSeVjcBUs/Urxp-GMnlHI/AAAAAAAATQg/4kNu6EAeoNU/s640/daddys+gifts.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Presents from Daddy, </span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PsysBZgQv60/Urxp_oyqElI/AAAAAAAATQw/cFBb983SKF4/s1600/mommys+gifts.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="140" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PsysBZgQv60/Urxp_oyqElI/AAAAAAAATQw/cFBb983SKF4/s640/mommys+gifts.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Presents from Mommy,</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and lots of fun. We are loving this parenting thing! Ethan has such a beautiful temperament which makes everything that much more enjoyable.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Christmas Day was lots of fun too, we...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Be32MyrIN7g/Urx6KcLmmWI/AAAAAAAATRY/UnFxu93iqSo/s1600/quiet.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="183" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Be32MyrIN7g/Urx6KcLmmWI/AAAAAAAATRY/UnFxu93iqSo/s400/quiet.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">had a quiet morning,</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--MGta9TN6g8/Urx6K1hUMWI/AAAAAAAATRs/oNOIOpDGn6E/s1600/friends.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="142" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--MGta9TN6g8/Urx6K1hUMWI/AAAAAAAATRs/oNOIOpDGn6E/s400/friends.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">enjoyed lunch and presents with friends that are family,</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aJu5CDcSShQ/Urx6KpsOfXI/AAAAAAAATRo/AXbargpJ5UQ/s1600/mommy.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="87" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aJu5CDcSShQ/Urx6KpsOfXI/AAAAAAAATRo/AXbargpJ5UQ/s400/mommy.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">took pictures with mommy</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1qIp4NoRzIU/Urx6MaiPTjI/AAAAAAAATR0/wRDSZgI9HJg/s1600/us.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="130" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1qIp4NoRzIU/Urx6MaiPTjI/AAAAAAAATR0/wRDSZgI9HJg/s400/us.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">and just mom and dad,</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it was a special time in which we felt loved and started some Christmas traditions for our young family!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today is back to normal but our hearts are full and we are looking forward to many more firsts in this little guy's life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We love you son, Merry First Christmas!</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6280747896120240915.post-63951692561715182702013-11-26T17:11:00.002-08:002013-11-26T17:11:45.101-08:00These mixed feelings<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Tomorrow my baby will be 5 months old, I read it and know it but it's still hard to believe! I know EVERY mom says this but I'll say it anyway: they grow SO fast! I look at him and wonder where did my newborn go? I understand that he has been growing since the moment he was conceived but this past couple of weeks it has been so much more evident. </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Last Monday I looked at him and saw something different. He did not look like my tiny new baby anymore. I saw an older boy looking back at me, not just in size but there was something about his face that looked all "grown up"! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yesterday at around 3 pm he woke up from nap time screaming bloody murder, which is totally unlike him. I couldn't figure out what was wrong and teething didn't even cross my mind. Later at bath time I felt his first little tooth coming through, besides the guilt for not having any idea that that was what was bothering my boy I felt so many mixed feelings! Also he started using stage 3 diapers and hes has finally crossed that stage into 6 month clothes. For a few weeks now he has been right where 3m clothes are kind of snug but still fit and 6m clothes fit but are a tad big. Well no more, 3m clothes don't fit anymore! </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It all seems to be happening at the same time. Also yesterday he started trying to turn from back to front. He has only turned from front to back twice but he's already trying! </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SrGnIGSQJjY/UpVGfcQQA3I/AAAAAAAAQos/eHadJo7oZaM/s1600/IMG_20131126_122102.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SrGnIGSQJjY/UpVGfcQQA3I/AAAAAAAAQos/eHadJo7oZaM/s400/IMG_20131126_122102.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Growing so fast!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">After we lost Evan and reading FB updates that said "my baby is growing so fast and I want to cry!" or "I'm a little sad my baby reached this or that milestone" it would make me angry. I would think how can you be sad that your baby is growing? At least he IS growing! Be thankful for that! I will never see my baby grow, he will never reach milestones, he will never do any of the things your baby is doing, just be happy! I would give ANYTHING to see my boy do what yours is doing! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Now that we have Ethan I get it. Those moms don't mean anything bad by that, they are not being negative and they are thankful. I see my son so happy and healthy. He was tiny for what seemed like the blink of an eye and I'm sure every stage will seem that way once it's gone. When he leaves behind a size in diapers or clothes, when he turns over or discovers how to use his hands there's a part of me that is proud and happy beyond believe that my baby is healthy but there is always this little part of me that wants to cry because a little piece of my baby slips away with every milestone. It's not easy but I want to make it a point to spend time soaking him in at every stage. Making memories and watching him grow strong. This makes me want to be present making his every stage the best that it can be!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I love you Ethan, keep on growing son!</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12232007300906206537noreply@blogger.com0