I miss him!

So, it's been a while! It's been a busy couple of... months. Two boys, holidays, kitchen remodel, parents and in-laws visiting. It's made for a crazy but very enjoyable time! Also, I was going through sort of a writers' block spell. I didn't have anything to write about till now.

I've been feeling kind of strange lately. There are lots of feelings going on in my heart and my head. I've been missing Evan a LOT which makes me feel a little guilty because, well, I have two AMAZING, healthy, growing kids. So here is the thing having Evan makes me appreciate Ethan and Jason more but having them makes me miss him even more. I miss what I never had. I miss seeing him grow. I miss him playing with his brothers. I miss his little steps around the house. How is it possible to miss something/things you never had? The more I see my boys grow and develop, do new things and reach new milestones the more I miss seeing Evan doing the same things, reaching the same milestones.

The holiday season doesn't make it any easier. It's like there's a a piece of our family missing. It's like we are not complete. I try to balance how much I miss my boy in Heaven and how much I want and do enjoy my boys!

Anyway, I don't have much more to write I just... miss my Evan! 

I love you sweet boy and I miss you a lot. You will always have your special place in my heart and in our family!