I wouldn't mind...

the nausea and the dizziness
if it means I'll see two pink lines

the heartburn and the cramps
if it means I'll hear your heart beat

the multiple trips to the bathroom
it if means I'll see you growing healthy

the pain and the hot flashes
if it means I'll feel you move in my belly

the swollen feet and the strech marks
if it means you get to stay with us

the baby weight and the sore breasts
if it means I can hold and kiss you

all that is painful and uncomfortable
if it means at the end I will meet you and fall in love with you!

God promised you to us and we can't wait to meet you, hopefully soon!

Love mom and dad.

I remember...

...our trip to Chile.                               

For our DTS outreach we went to Chile. I happened to be the only Spanish speaker in the group, the perfect excuse to spend time with me on our way over there. We took a bus from Brazil to Chile, 4 days on a bus and not much more to do than talk and learn Spanish! 

It was a very special time, we got to know each other, talk, be stressed about the future, fight against people who wanted to keep us apart, dance, joke and flirt. Since we were not allowed to speak much to each other we kept a notebook that we passed back and forth with our conversations. We wrote each other letters. We went to different cafes to chat or e-mail each other. We tried to have private conversations in a room full of people just so we wouldn't get in trouble. Oh 'good' times!

It was the first time I got an e-mail from you. A beautiful poem you wrote yourself. My heart was beating so fast when I read it. I discovered what love is. I think I read it like 20 times, just over and over again to take it all in, to understand every word and the intention behind it. I love that poem so much that I framed it and hung it in my room when I went back home for those 2.5 long years.

It wasn't an easy time by no means. Lots of challenges, uncertainty and mixed feelings. However, I cherish that time. We were together, getting to know each other and with all of our life ahead of us to enjoy, to dream about. We made it through it, we survived, we graduated!

I remember...

...when we talked.                                    

We were spring cleaning the base. I was sweeping  some stairs and I saw you  approach with your back pack. You looked distressed. Finally you gathered the courage and told me: "I don't want a relationship with you!". I was speechless. We had been hanging out a lot. We had become very close but I was not thinking about relationships with anyone. I of course told you that and that was it. We finished cleaning and remained friends as always. I was worried that after our little talk we would grow apart but we didn't. Actually, the opposite happened.  

After some trips down town, talks while we did homework, movies and meals, one day I was in the computer room and asked me if we could talk after you came back. I told you I had to ask you something. After you left I sat there trying to figure out something smart to ask you but couldn't come up with anything. When you got back you came to see me.

We were both nervous. Since I couldn't think of anything to say you asked if you could make it easier for me, so this is what was said next:

-B: "I like you."

-P: (nervous laugh and silence, followed by your very first Spanish lesson) "What do you mean? Because in Spanish we have 2 translations for that. 1) Me caes bien (which you can use for friends) or 2) Me gustas (which you only use when talking to a woman that you like). So which is it?"

-B: "Me gustas."

-P: Like 10 mins of nervous rumbling followed by a very honest: "I think I like you too."

After that you stood up and walked away.

I remember...

...when we met.    
                                     

It was January of 2006. I had just arrived to the YWAM base in BH, Brazil. I was a week late due to paper work needed but the leaders of our DTS (Discipleship and Training School) had accepted me into the school. You and the rest had just come back from a week long camp near the Amazon river.

To celebrate the end of the camp and the beginning of the school they threw a bbq (churrasco) party. I had just been introduced to everybody there. I didn't really notice you until you, with that strong, outgoing attitude that is so you, got up on a chair and yelled: "Hey, let's pray!". I remember thinking "That man is a leader!". That was the first time I noticed you.

Later that day Ron invited me out for burgers. I thought there would be a bunch of us but it was only Ron, Sergio, you and I. We ate and played pool. You thought I was from the States and found it hard to believe that I had never even been here. Somehow we joked about you kissing me. You promised you would kiss me one day and we laughed about it. Little did we know!