Today...

...was baby #1's due date. I've missed him the past 7 months or so. Sometimes the thought of how big my belly would be at the time hits me and leaves me thinking. This week the thought has been that we would be welcoming our baby into our family around these days. It makes me wonder how that would be like and how it would feel. Anyway, I thought that it would be nice to share a letter I wrote for our baby the day after he left us. So here it is:

January 10th 2011.

My dear sweet baby,

This is your mommy. A couple of days ago you were in my womb and I was thrilled. So excited to see you, to feel you and to see my belly grow because of you. Dad and I had been waiting for a couple of years to be ready to get pregnant and welcome you into our home. Neither of us felt ready for the responsibility we knew it was to raise you and guide you in God's pad but in November last year something changed in our hearts. We went to spend Thanksgiving with Uncle James and Aunt Ashley and their beautiful son Zachary, we had a wonderful time with them and watching your cousin be funny and silly. God used that time and that little one to put a strong desire in our hearts to have a baby of our own. Funny, but not too long after that we learned that we were expecting you! It made our hearts skip a beat and we were delighted. I wanted to go buy everything to be ready to receive you, dad had to stop me! We kept it a secret for a couple of weeks because your abuelos where going to come visit and we wanted to tell them in person. Finally they came and we told them, they couldn't be happier. We called your grandma and grandpa to tell them too and they were very excited. We got you some Christmas presents and you even participated in a Mexican tradition:“Reyes” and they brought you some things. Oh I forgot to tell you, you were a traveler too, you went with us to New York, we had a good time although we couldn't wait to come back to our new home.
Anyway, today you are not with us anymore, last Friday night we had to go to the ER just to find out that you were gone, the news broke our hearts. Even as I write this letter I can't help but cry, it hurts. But I know that now you are with your Lord and that there's not a better place than that. Although I wish I was still carrying you in my womb and I could still look forward to holding you in August (that's when we thought we would meet you), I know that there's no better place than Heaven for you. And I rest in the hope of God's promise that I will see you again when I go to Heaven with our Lord.
Please know that Dad and I love you very much, that we miss you and that we look forward to meeting you one day in Heaven. You have been the best news we've had so far and as short as your life was you brought a lot of blessings, laughter and joy into our life. We love you baby and we will be sure to share with your brothers and sisters how happy you made us. Thank you for being such a blessing, say hi to our Father for us.

With all of my love,

MOM.

Mommy still thinks of you baby and is looking forward to meeting you in Heaven!